My mission was to “repoint my DNS settings”. I had an immediate vision in my head of my mother, apron tied about her waist. With all the marvellous skills she taught me over the years, somehow she missed this one. My father would have suspected it had something to do with bricks.

It all started by my attempt to move my website from one host to another.

So I talked with host A about moving to host B; and then, talked with person C who designed my site, person D who developed my site, person E who I’d been paying to manage my site, who then sent me to person F, who E actually had been paying to do this service, then on to person G, who he’d be paying because that’s not really his business any more.

My modest website suddenly included an army of technology super heroes, each trying to find the end of the plastic wrap. “All you have to do is ask company A to repoint your DNS,” I was finally told. “Sure,” I replied, with all the confidence I could muster, “I’ll get right on it.”

The follow conversations took place (remember, you can’t make this stuff up):

Company A: I can’t repoint your DNS. You need authorization from Company B to move your domain name.
Company B: I can’t give you that authorization. You need to go back to Company A.
Company A: They are wrong.
Company B: No, they are wrong. Try again. This time, try asking that they “release” the name to you.
Company A: No, they are wrong. We can’t release it. All we can do is give you an authorization code.
Company B: Nope. The code isn’t good enough. It has to be actually released. Sorry….and by the way, this means we can’t help you any more.
Beth: So, like this is over between us?
Company B: Yes. But while we have you on the phone, can you take a moment to tell us how our service was today?

With my mail caught in a past week (which equals about 2 months in online years), and a website Google now warned as “suspect”, I was stuck in domain hell, with two “partner” companies bouncing me back in forth in an attempt to shake me loose. One of my super heroes finally stepped forward and asked, “Has everyone totally thrown you to the wolves?”

“I think so,” I replied. Thirty minutes later, bolstered with a dose of can-do spirit from Tech Guy, 3 cups of herbal tea and a new pair of shoes, I tried again.

When I called Company A this time I pressed the prompt for “accounting” instead of “tech support”. (Note: NONE of this had to do with accounting. But I’m just telling the story the way it happened).

Accounting: Tell me again; what is it that you need us to do?
Me: Repoint my DNS.
Accounting: Well, why didn’t you say so?

So freshly repointed, re-hosted and re-launched, life in my connected world returned to normal. The last kick at the can was a series of emails from Company A asking me to pay a bill for hosting services. There was a slight hesitation on the phone. It was time again for some clear communications.

“The direction of the DNS settings will tell you all you need to know”, I advised (proudly). “Just ask your accounting department”.

My fancy tech phrasing was all I had to do to prove my case. I might try it next time the telephone company gives me a hard time.