It starts with the premise that order is good and clutter is bad; and clutter that leads to losing track of stuff is serious, not funny. So we watch television shows about how to throw things out, we scramble off to Canadian Tire to acquire attractive storage bins, and we develop categories of value so we can quickly determine what to toss, recycle, or (as a last resort) store.

The truth isstuff comes into your home, often uninvited and in many cases not because of your own indulgence. When I take a careful look around my home Im surprised at how much came from somewhere else. Truckloads, for example, arrive from school. Like mud stuck to our childrens shoes, were inundated with notices, projects, even returned lunchbox scraps. Some items, excluding the lunchbox scraps, we stick on the fridge or attempt to keep. With child number one, we carefully placed art projects in a file destined for a shiny new basement bin. After child number five, we cut out the middle step and surreptitiously placed most of the paperwork in a recycling bin.

We passed through an organization stage a few years back when we purchased bins, wall units, and storage systems. We mistakenly thought this would contain the multiplying hoards of toys and memorabilia. It didnt. Then we tried garage sales. Every household on our block put their stuff on the front lawn and exchanged it for other stuffusually the same items recycling back. My electric bun warmer returned to me three times before I hid it in the garbage.

The list of what has gone missing each year is endless, the fault of mass confusion combined with creeping forgetfulness. One year we accidentally removed one son from his special education program because I forgot to return the form. Another child was suspended from school because we didnt sign a vaccination document. Weve managed to keep a receipt for everything weve ever bought except, of course, the items that broke or were the wrong size. I accidentally threw my new cell phone in a lake one warm July morning because it was tucked in my pants pocket. I did manage to revive it, only to drive over it several months later (it didnt survive that time). A year before, I lost my office phone, a clunky cordless phone that I somehow misplaced in the washing machine.

Even as children grow older, the stuff doesnt diminished. We continued to store our lives in our basements, our attics and our closetsironically in those same places that still store some of our own parents stuff; items our moms, dads, even grandparents couldnt bear to part with.

Im beginning to finally realize that a well-cluttered life means a life filled with people, and the stuff that seems, inevitably, to gather about them. Our stuff is actually part of who we are human dandruff we produce, whether we like it or not. Sure we can shed some of it as we move along, but for the most part, it belongs with us because it is part of our lives, past, present and future. It reminds me of when refugees flee their homelands they often carry a small item with them to remember what they left behind. And busy CEO executives are encouraged to pack a few items from home in order to settle better in their hotel rooms at days end.

My messy conclusion is that we all live in chaos and for the most part, we should fee proud of a home that shows signs of a struggle. There are consultants who make a living helping people organize their homes. But every day Ill remind myself that uncontrolled clutter mixed with a certain degree of confusion represents the richness of my life, not the struggle. The real gift is to know how to live with and enjoy that reality, not eliminate it altogether.

Beth Parker
Professional Writerwww.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs

June 2008-June 2010

It’s not that I’m totally unknown. Some of your kids may have enjoyed “Thomas Knew There Were Pirates Living in the Bathroom,” published by Black Moss/Oxford several years ago. Or perhaps you’ve read my columns more recently in Beaches Living or Heart Business Journal (this December).

But this is just the beginning. Look outthe words are flowing fast.

Beth Parker
Professional Writer
www.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs
June 2008-June 2010

Ive learned to inquire politely, in various ways. Inevitably, I ask:

Just tell me why people give you money?

Suddenly all the fancy words disappear in the muddle of customer features, benefits and innovations.

WHY do people pay us money? Thats easy:
We fix their computers, or
We tell them how to run their business, or
We sell them software that organizes their information.

Network solutions providers? Strategic Entrepreneurial Consultants? Back End IT Enterprise Management Systems Engineers?

No. Just give me those verbs fix, tell, organize these are the words hidden in those complicated paragraphs muddy with well intentioned meaning.

Next time youre trying to describe your business, err on the side of clear communication.

Customers give me money to _______.

The words will work magic for you!

Beth Parker
Professional Writer
www.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs
June 2008-June 2010

“Communications failures have certainly played a role in the most recent crisis”, quotes HBR. For example, a recent report from the Swiss bank UBS to its shareholders attempted to present its subprime or housing related exposures. Unfortunately, the readers of the report didn’t fully grasp the severity of the situation, in particular because the writing was overly complex… and directed to the wrong audience.

I love it when clarity wins over thick data, long words and complicate phrases. Remember this. Your audience may be very intelligent – or not so. Without a doubt, they are busy people with lots on their minds. If you are presenting a message that matters, such as asking for funding, approving a strategic plan or perhaps outlining serious risk, pay a professional to clearly communicate the message.

It’s value well spent, and it could keep us all out of trouble.

Beth Parker
Professional Writer
www.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs
June 2008-June 2010

I had the best intentions following New Year’s day. I headed off to Indigo to find an inspiring business book. After spending an eternity staring at the rows of book spines, I began to see double, even triple. Every title promised the best “success factors”, the “top keys to leadership”, or the “ten steps to rise to the top”. It all began to sound so much the same and so very, very dull.

Discouraged, I headed for the biography section thinking that perhaps some current CEO might deliver real life inspiration. I got sidetracked somewhere between Bill Gates and Jack Welch. It found a new (and thankfully slim) book about the William Shakespeare. Yes, the playwright. I warned this might get nerdy.

Shakespeare, The World as Stage, by Bill Bryson, is a true breath of fresh air. Beyond giving inspiration, it took me to a time and place far from my piles of files, business plans, and websites waiting to be written.

So at the risk of sounding preachy, my New Year’s advice is don’t be afraid sometimes to look back during a month that also looks forward (hence, Janus – January, and all that). It is truly good for the soul, as well as one’s weary brain!

Beth Parker
Professional Writer
www.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs
June 2008-June 2010

The ability to multi task demands a combination of personality and circumstances. For some, the more things they have to juggle, the more energized they become. Im not saying that they handle things better, but they certainly revel in seeing how well they can pack it all in. The trouble is, like all multi-taskers, eventually the person crashes gets sick, turns grumpy, becomes careless. There always seems to be a price to pay for over multi extending oneself, and it is difficult to determine how close one is to the edge. Its like how your computers work or dont work. No one knows when it will happen, but suddenly your Word document is overloaded to the point of paralysis and with no warning your screen is suddenly blank.

The biggest problem with multi tasking is that it allows each of us to tackle the tasks instead of the big picture. I was once watching a television show about someone who decided to write a book. His wife asked about his progress and he replied, Oh I havent started yet, he replied, First I need to get new pencils and lots of them, then I need some paper .

We all start out with dreams and big ideas. Then life happens, and between families and jobs, opportunities for multitasking crowd out everything else. The years go by and suddenly the big dreams have vanished into agendas, Blackberries, and endless to-do list that we make, check off, then start again.

Dont throw out the agendas and the lists believe me, Im keeping mine. But know when to put them aside. Just because you can do ten things at once doesnt mean you have to. And if you must make that list, decide what to omit in order to give yourself a little more time for to grow, to plan, to think and recharge.

The knight-errant had spent the previous weeks installing a wireless Internet connection for the castle. Late into the evening, the lights burned as tour writers, Lady Bea and Lady Kay, toiled over the copy for their website.

They hit an impasse. In order to build excitement about their castle, the forest and their fascinating workshops on writing, they wanted to write, we shall”. The formal first-person verb seemed, well, so formal, and not in keeping with the fast-paced pizzazz of the new electronic world.

You know dear, I think we should say, we will, said Lady Kay.
But thats not right, replied Lady Bea.
Well seek the guidance of the Lady of the Word, said the first.

They walked into the forest to find the strange and often erratic Lady of the Word, a former communications maven who had been driven mad by improper English usage. She still had lucid moments and they hoped to catch her at a good moment. Even the slightest hint that a sacred rule of language was being breached could send the Lady of the Word into frenzy.

As it happened, the Lady of the Word was in fine spirits. In the past, she had often driven herself to distraction while pondering the use of shall and will. Today she felt up to the challenge.

Well, she said, we do have to move with the times, especially on the net. Shed never actually seen the computer, having lost her mind when blue pencils were still a copy editors favourite tool. She did like to see herself as ‘au currant’.

You know I always loved the cadence of ‘we shall’, she sighed. Then the Lady of the Word began to drift backward in time and our writers feared the lucidity was passing.

The Lady of the Word regained her composure and added, But that was then and this is now. I have a lot of time to think as I wander around here. More and more people now say I will and we will and Im getting used to it. In fact, unless someone has an English accent, I shall’ sounds very pompous.

They all agreed. But it was hard to part from the old ways, even for top billing on a search engine, so they decided to compromise. I have a couple of suggestions, said Lady Kay, I think we should use the contraction, well, or convert what we are writing to the present tense instead.

Good idea, replied Lady Bea, Even though we used to think it was bad form to use a contraction in public documents, this is a new frontier. And often, the use of the present tense makes ones writing clearer anyway.”

Unfortunately the creeping use of contractions in formal writing was one of the changes that had unhinged the Lady of the Word. She ran off into the Enchanted Forest screaming about the decline of language and the ladies of Grammarian Castle trudged back across the drawbridge to launch their site.

Copywrite 1998 Beth Parker & Kate Rodd

“Who is it?” the mysterious Lady asked, peaking through a small crack in the large, wooden door.

“It is I”, the voices answered back.

“You mean,” she corrected, “It is me.”

She sensed some hesitation on the part of the knight.

” Never say ‘it is I’”, the Lady continued, “Always say It is me’. ‘Me is the object of the sentence, not the subject.”

“Huh”, answered the tall stranger, now totally disarmed, “What are you talking about?”

So the Lady got out a white board and began a short lesson:

Most people get it wrong. Or as soon as they try and say it, they correct themselves and fumble on the words. How do you know when to say “you and me” instead of “you and I”? It has to do with subjects, objects, nouns and verbs. There is, however, an easy way of making sure you always get it right.

You try the sentence out using only the reference to yourself. Let me show you.

Which is correct?
A Brittany and I went to the show.
B Brittany and me went to the show.
Try the sentence without Brittany. Obviously, the right version is
A Brittany and I went to the show.

Another example:
A Give the salad to Rocco and me, OR
B Give the salad to Rocco and I.
Drop Rocco (if you dare), and the answer is obvious.
B Give the salad to me.

Now I will give you the technical explanation.

“I”‘ is the first person pronoun, used when the first person is the subject of a sentence. ”Me” is the first person pronoun, used when the first person is the object of a sentence. Every sentence has a subject (comes before the verb) and an object (comes after the verb).

Billy walked his dog around the block. (Billy is the subject, dog is the object)

So you always say Billy and I walked our dog around the block.

OR

Billy walked his dog and me around the block.

So when we get back to our story of the tall dark knight at the gate, although it may sound more impressive to answer, “It is I!”, the correct way to answer would be to say, “It is me.”

The knight then took a deep breath and knocked again at the castle door.

“Who is it?” inquired the mysterious Lady, now smiling proudly.

“It is a knight”, he replied with care.

FOR MORE MAGAZINE AND BOOK IDEAS
CONTACT ME DIRECTLY.

Beth Parker
Professional Writer
www.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs
June 2008-June 2010

These important words are no longer just proper names or countries. They include words like Internet, Email and terms like Strategic Planning and Gross Profits.

Im not a nit-picky editor (nit picky editors dont use terms like nit picky). Its not the rules about capitalization that Im going to quote here. I change capital letters to lower case because of the problems they cause with style consistency.

As soon as you start capitalizing everything in sight, it becomes impossible to be consistent (for example, if you capitalize Gross Profits, do you capitalize regular profits? And what about losses?)

My advice is stick to the good old rules of style and grammar. Capitalize proper names, names of places and titles. If you are in doubt, refer to any style guide. As your final check, do not capitalize words just because you think they are important. Put them in bold face, or italics. Or better yet, write so that your reader instinctively believes they are important.

Beth Parker
Professional Writer
www.bethparker.com

President, CAWEE
Canadian Association of Women Executives & Entrepreneurs
June 2008-June 2010

We are bombarded daily not just with messages and instructions, but also with contradictory demands and ideas.

I was instructed when setting up a BLOG that I must continue to populate my BLOG collection. I cant take a break just because inspiration has run dry (heaven forbid).

So what happens when a BLOGGER goes on vacation? There must be an online article about this somewhere. I suspect he or she continues to wax eloquently about the value of rest and relaxation, noting the sounds of the loons on the lake and the clarity of the stars at night.

Im not going to do that.

Im on vacation. I somehow dont think the world will miss my messages.

P.S. And just in case youre wondering about the fishing, Ive used the term as poetic license. Im not really fishing ug!